Bluuu & 500 miles ahead

I like the way you push me up against your car
way you kiss me,
sudden quick kisses
lightning impulses
way you breathe in quickly
catching your breathe
kisses meaning something

curled up in the car
you ask me tentatively, "What's wrong?"
I shudder
watching rain come down on your windshield
wet, soft
driving past garish skeletons
Halloween set ups in the front yard
I shudder thinking of you leaving
heart wrenching agony that comes with it

You were talking about moving
about how renters don't like overnighters
leaving
word flashed again like
nightmare skeletons in the yard
leaving, mixed with past flashbacks
flashes of how much it hurt every time he left
every time my ex would leave
He was there, then
suddenly not there at all
I waited after school,
cold wind growing
knawing into dread as he didn't show up

leaving
when you move to another city to get a better job
I'm missing you terribly and I'm trying to imagine
how I'll feel when your gone
I try to tell myself
you were never here in the first place
You never changed your phone number to 805
I feel...that missing feeling
like how you said
something's missing...when I was sick
didn't show up for work

I talked the night before about
putting my finger in your back pocket
pink clouds scudding across the sky
that night in the parking lot at the News-Press

The day I was sick, when I wasn't there,
you told me
something's missing
I'm trying so hard not to see how much I'll miss you
how attached I've become