haikulipstick

iPhone Touches

2011-11-30T04:57:00.001-08:00

skin touching, first time
fingers hover on iPhone
zero in on skin

Moving Forward

2011-06-11T15:41:00.000-07:00

when your life stops
leaves fall, change happens
resolve issues

Lightning in a Bottle 2011

2011-06-01T01:20:00.001-07:00

super bright blinky poi
his arms move patterns
her eyes smile, wide

Poi spinning

2011-04-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

spinning contact poi
meditative patterns
don't let yourself think

Saying Goodbye

2011-04-11T17:27:00.001-07:00

leaving, forever
an illegal immigrant
your not coming back

June Gloom

2010-06-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

Fog covers trees
Canarios beans bubbling
kitchen smells fill, drift

Wind Blown

2010-03-08T16:51:00.000-08:00

viento frío
tus besos
me despiertan

cold wind
your kisses
awaken me

Missing Hope

2010-03-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

your skin, warm incense
wafting a deep hopefulness
I breathe in again

Rainy Weather

2010-03-04T17:22:00.000-08:00

rain bleeding lightly
family far away now
feeling their absence

Spring Rain

2010-03-02T11:20:00.000-08:00

spring rain coming down
I snuggle closer to you
dreams pouring in

SBIFF (Santa Barbara International Film Festival)

2010-02-17T17:29:00.000-08:00

words become feelings
feelings scroll across the screen
new thoughts opening

TYPE G: Old Style Fonts

2010-02-12T12:48:00.000-08:00

humanist spirit, refined,
italic is born
a cult of beauty

TYPE F: Techno Font Examination

2010-02-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

techno fonts, progress
youth culture, digital age
electronic feel

TYPE E: Handwriting Font Examination

2010-02-03T17:22:00.001-08:00

a handwriting font
informal, feels personal
childlike energy

TYPE D: San Serif Font Examination

2010-02-01T16:30:00.000-08:00

san serif: without
no unnecessary tidbits
direct, clean curves, clear

TYPE C: Serif Font Examination

2010-01-28T16:52:00.000-08:00

graceful round letters
letter ending flares, serif
elegant for print

TYPE B: Slab Serif Font Examination

2010-01-27T17:14:00.000-08:00

Attention grabber
Slab serif: chunky bold, blocks
Bigger is better

TYPE A: Script Font Examination

2010-01-26T13:09:00.000-08:00

script fonts, handwritten
emotional, lyrical
transporting spirit

Empty Breakfast

2010-01-25T15:40:00.001-08:00

I came to eat with you
you left me with nothing but
a croissant to go

Santa Barbara Storms

2010-01-22T10:12:00.001-08:00

screams isolated

coastal tornado winds hop

boats tossed ashore

Reflections

2010-01-21T09:51:00.000-08:00

thoughts, a flood of the mind
winter rain, coming down in sheets
neurons mirror rain

Jesusita Fire

2010-01-20T12:26:00.000-08:00

your hands rub my back
huge flames lick, move up the ridge
watching feelings smoke

Jesusita Fire

2009-05-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

watching thick white plumes,
a wound, not blood, steaming smoke
pouring off our mountains

driving, embers fly
cold fear, following fire trucks
thoughts of family

sun bright orange from fire
30,000 evacuated
smoke clouds, like a storm

Tea Fire

2009-02-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

I called him, "There's a big fire in the canyon, will you come over?"
He said, "Yeah, I can't see it from here. I'm on my way."
Flames leaping
from where I was
leaping from across the canyon
taller than me, wind rising them higher
higher and spreading over, into the canyon
hungry
Fear creaping into my breathing
If they were that tall, how tall were they?
they must be 70 ft. high flames with wind blowing across them
later, on the news, they were that tall
watching, helpless, waiting for him to come
I heard his voice first, "Where is she?" he asked
he slid open the glass door, into wind and backyard

walking up steep stone steps to where I was frozen
glued to the flames, worrying
my friends were up there in that canyon
He reached me, circled his arms about my waist
even though we were friends, it felt warm, good, safe
we watched in silence for a moment
"I'd better go," he said, nervously.
"What?" I asked, shocked
"I didn't know it was so close..." he said calmly, "I might need to evacuate."
I was shocked, instead of the warmth of his arms holding me safe,
instead of relief, I saw him heading toward those flames,
flames leaping stories high
I couldn't let him go alone. I had to help,
yet, fear and wanting safety, away from flames, overpowering
I saw myself waiting, crazy with worry,
it would be worse, here, safe, terrified
"I'm coming with you," I said with conviction.
"Let's go," he replied. Immediate. No hesitation.
I called my girlfriend. "We're evacuating now," she shouted into the phone. Click.
At least she was going to be safe...I hope
We got flashlight batteries at 711. It was eerie.

We got to his place. Thick with smoke, like you couldn't breathe.
The neighbors were already loading their cars.
I watched neighbors scurry to the top of the driveway,
converge, and talk, looking for the fire
you couldn't see it yet, you could smell it
it was on everyone, thick and heavy
burning at your lungs
sheriffs drove through, yelling through their bull horn
"This is a mandatory evacuation."
Some of the neighbors were old,
"Don't ask me," she said in her thick Italian.
"I woke up, you have to leave, they told me, so I'm leaving."
we went back inside
"We have to take the guitar," I said, unplugging it.
"These are just things. They're replaceable," he said.
"Let's just get you out of here."
I felt a little better, feeling valuable.
He wanted the nicknacks,
the little blue smurf his ex had given him in Spain
I carried, carefully to the car, porcelain from Prague
all of his travels, memories in little tiny things.
The sheriff drove by yelling out of a bullhorn.
"This is a mandatory evacuation. You need to evacuate now."
They drove through. Talked to people. Kept driving.
I was so nervous.
"This is so silly," he said.
"It feels weird, to move everything out and then
have to move it back in...
that would be the best of all outcomes, though."
We got back to my parents late that night, the car filled with his stuff.
He woke up early the next morning and drove over to check on things.
The next day I was told I had the day off. I was exhausted.

A few days later, we hauled all his stuff back in.
Rehung the paintings,
instruments from Jamaica back on the wall...
This was the best plausible outcome,
being able to move back in a few days later.
"It seems kind of silly, moving out, moving back in," he said.
200 homes burnt in the Tea Fire
It's been months now,
my girlfriend is living in a hotel with 3 boys and a dog.
3 boys who desperately need a home and have no money.
The insurance has refused to pay the hotel bill...
every day she drags her feet across the lobby,
embarrassed she can't pay the bill.
I worry. I try to take her son out on the weekends...
I try to make him happy in a world that has
turned instantly upside down...
if I had the money I would give it to her...
but I don't so, I give her my time.

Fog

2008-10-17T17:13:00.001-07:00

I watched fog drifting in towards us
Big blue mountains in the background
with fog whisping in waves
big solid white waves
cover ghost oil platforms
as if they were live ships
drift across the ocean
hovering, waiting to move in like a predator
cumin, rich Indian spices floating up the canyon
reminding me of childhood and incense and the 60's
I looked at the Spanish tile adobe
which house, which million dollar house had a wife from India
with spices that floated up through the canyon?

Ageing

2008-10-17T15:37:00.000-07:00

problems, his father walked away
I listened to my son
he waited and wanted

I tried to fix them
on my own
I could feel years
years fall into wrinkles around my eyes

Packaging Matters

2008-10-13T16:30:00.001-07:00

I fell asleep, my window open
I wrapped the lavendar hand knit blanket my mam-maw made around me
I buried myself

I opened my eyes to cold October air
as cold as I was awake
coldness opened my eyes

At the coffee shop I noticed
Beautifully wrapped sugar colored witch lollipops
Halloween coffins with edible skeletons inside
all this American packaging felt like my mam-maw's blanket
something I know

I noticed the books I designed
how different it was twenty years ago
how you could slap headlines on with glue
a little crooked
glue individual letters, spaced a little uneven
Now, my programs were mathematically precise

I noticed how perfect the witch was,
bright sugar enameled details on her clothes,
little pink buttons
green eyes
glaring purple hat
sharp, crisp, clear
even in sugar you could see
how important it is to look purrrfeccctttt...
is this only an Americanism?

French Au Pair

2008-10-10T16:58:00.000-07:00

I walked into the kitchen
early afternoon
she was wearing
a short grey nightshirt
an expensive one that tucked in ribbons at the bottom

She was young,
not older than twenty
visiting from France,

I watched soap suds
drain from sink
I watched her do dishes
I watched her bare legs
as if they were some extension of herself
into the world of showing
not caring
wanting
a catwalk of showing off,
I heard her laughing on the phone to her boyfriend
Did he care?

I wondered how
why
I tried to remember a time when
I didn't mind doing dishes in a short grey t-shirt

I have grown so self-conscious
She seemed, as a European, to be so much more open
than me, an American
I wondered why they were so open
why we were so closed?

Blue & 500 miles ahead

2008-10-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

He had to change jobs
He was moving, leaving her
Cold wind growing


Curled up in the car
you ask tentatively, "What's wrong?"
She shudders a little
watching rain come down on your windshield
wet, soft
driving past garish skeletons
Halloween set ups in the front yard
She shudders thinking of you leaving
heart wrenching agony that comes with it

You were talking about moving
leaving
word flashed again like
nightmare skeletons in the yard
leaving, mixed with past flashbacks
flashes of how much it hurt
every time someone close left
It's hard to make it in this town
cold wind growing
gnawing into dread

leaving
when you move to another city to get a better job
She's missing you terribly already
She's trying to imagine how she'll feel when your gone
She try's to tell herself,
"You were never here in the first place..."
You never changed your phone number to 805
She feels like something's missing...

How you felt when she wasn't there
at the movie theater last week,
You told her,
"something's missing"
She's trying so hard not to see how much she'll miss you
how attached she's become

Connection Baggage

2008-10-03T14:26:00.000-07:00

I walked across the college campus,
evening, ocean startling, deepening
turning darker blue
Everything that was crisp and clear was starting to smudge
I saw her, dark brown hair, head turned
a distant look on her face
I used to have that look

I rested my head against him
curled up in the rocking chair
You look so distant, he said
"Yeah, I was dreaming..." I responded
I would tell him about my dreams
daydreams
I would lay on the floor, on the pillows,
get that far off glazed look
"You were drifting again," he said.
Not mean-like,
sorta gently reminding me,
to be here, now
with him

I was drifting,
I was thinking about my ex...
How can we connect,
now
when I keep thinking about my ex?

I mentioned it to my girlfriend,
she responded, shockingly
"I said his name last night out loud,"
when I woke up this morning, he asked me
"What were you dreaming about?"
"I don't remember," she murmer'd
"What am I supposed to say?
I was dreaming about what great sex we used to have?" she laughed

I talked to a guy friend in his 20's,
he's a history buff who likes to date European women...
"Most woman have baggage," he said
"I go out with these terrible women, they have like,
8 ex-boyfriends. It creates problems.
I think relationships are hard.
In the past men and women would get marrried right away.
Now it is different.
You have to care about the other person.
I think people are inherently selfish.
There are two categories, people who care and people who don't care.
I don't go out with women who don't care," he said firmly.

I listened to his tangent. I love it when he goes off...
"If a woman called me right now,
I'd be like, see ya...
I don't care about my ex's," he said
However, I know, he chats online with them all the time...
would he stop if he started seeing someone new?

Over and over again
I remember the first time I went out with you,
"My brother worked for EA games," I said...
You hardly listened to a thing I said
I had to repeat it, later in the conversation
I didn't blame you
how could you possibly care?
we learn to not care
to be emotionally anesthetized
In your 50's, you must have done this so many times...
talking and listening
connecting and unconnecting

It's true, women do have baggage
men have baggage
so many relationships,
so many times
over and over
it seems so hard to connect through the cobwebs of the past

In the future we will have online relationship databanks where we keep
our relationship data
compartmentalized
maybe the program scripts will assess data, reformat it
we will be presented with options,
be able to pick a, b, or c
online connections are so different than real life connections
the skyline darkens into evening on campus
can I brush away the cobwebs into the night,
smudging the skyline the way it is now?

Genealogy

2008-10-02T11:36:00.000-07:00

I heard her smooth southern Oklahoma voice over the phone,
we discussed copyrights and genealogy,
her new book,
we talked about civil war accroutements,
"I have found," she said,
"that most families can trace their family history back to the civil war..."
"Yes," I intoned, seeing my great grandfather's hands
opening the old family wooden box...
old pictures,
hand written notes slowly falling apart
how he traced his family back to the signing of the Constitution
energetic discussion, endless discussion,
how big their minds must have been,
I wish I had time for hours of endless discussion...
My day is so busy, there is so little time,
I envy them and their grand ideas
I watch the dust fall off the old photographs,
and think of preservation
how long ago wasn't that far away
and how what we do now will change everything

Yells the same as Sunshine

2008-09-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

sun shining cruelly
angry at his family
words, same as shouting

If only...

2008-09-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

If only, "¡Ojalá!"
win the lottery, she sighs
he dreams of her smiles

I asked him, "What was your favorite word when you lived with her in Spain?"
He said,
In the piazza walking at night, warm, under stars
heading home
If only, "¡Ojalá!"
She would say it with a sigh, like winning the lottery
He would smile at her
Yes, if only...

I got the idea for this poem when my friend lived in Spain for a year with his Spanish girlfriend.

An affair with a dragon

2008-09-27T13:58:00.000-07:00

His words came out flames
Like a dragon, searing her
Still, she loves him so