Jesusita Fire

First date
I drove out to Carpinteria
it was hard not to stop
as I drove,
watching thick white plumes,
smoke pouring off our mountains
a gaping wound of steaming smoke instead of blood
30,000 people being evacuated from Santa Barbara
staring in my rear-view mirror, sun bright orange from fire
long late afternoon shadows on the road from
smoke clouds hanging over us, like a storm
I pulled up to acres of green grass,
almost to the edge of the road, ocean reaching up coast line
a couple houses, scattered, dilapidating, charming
a red wooden barn, I could see his window, felt warm
then I saw him, walking confidently towards me
a smile spreading on his boyish Canadian face,
pre-faded blue t-shirt, jeans, a tech guy
"Can we check out the fire from here?" I pleaded
worry bleeding into me,
my son at his grandma's under warning evacuation
smoke where I'd been staying, windows open in the heat
ash falling from the sky, phone ringing all night
evacuating from my friend's house,
talking to him on the phone as I watched helicopters,
staring up at them above me, their underbelly,
surprised at the brightness,
red, green, and white bright lights, blinking
sound of helicopters chopping loudly through air,
dumping water in the canyon above us
"If you want to watch the fire," he said,
"you'll get a better view from my porch"
it was dark out, a full moon hanging in the smoke
we climbed up the wooden steps
our eyes glueing to the ridge
I could see flames licking up and down the ridge from here
he was shocked, it felt so close, too close
he circled his arms around me, protectively
then he focused on my back
his hands reaching under my shirt
as I watched, fear mixed with wanting
rubbing slowly at my skin, moving up my back
he'd just taken a massage class
I relaxed, turned in the dark,
to kiss him for the first time,
magnetized to each other
lips moving rhythmically
my tongue adjusting to his like an ocean current
a woman came out down below
I asked him if we should stop
he shrugged, tilted my head back at a new angle
like an experiment
bending me back, kissing me deeply
I loved that, his fingers, pulling my hair
angling me into him
"Your a good kisser," he said
"I am?" I asked
"I think so," he shrugged
I told him,"have a good night," at the door
I heard him say,"Yeah," like he wasn't sure he was
or like he couldn't believe I'd left
on the way home, behind a fire truck,
embers flew on the road
I fought back fear, remembering
our tongues moving like a swirl of fire