Yells the same as Sunshine

"Goodmorning," she said politely as I arrived at work
but he was sitting in my chair
Did you get the print out? he said
I watched her hurry on the computer
"I just had it," she said
"Your mummbling," he said, cruelly
He could have shouted,
the echoes would have been the same
His daughter was going to drug court today and nothing could dispel his anger...

Early afternoon I could hear his engine roaring up the driveway,
"Is she here?" he yelled.
"No, she just left..."
He was looking for his wife.
"The family is falling apart and she wants to pretend she's a frat girl," he said
He was referring to his wife going to school and the fact
his kids, in their 20's were not,

I saw the pretty girl from France waiting for him
She was wearing a clean-cut purple tank top
she did not speak very good English
As he pulled out,
I noticed several beers were gone...
I could see bright Indigo blue flowers in the pot next to the front door
I could see the ocean, all blue, turning into a haze in the sunshine
but the sun that drifted down onto the lemon orchard here, were cruel and
nothing, not even paradise, could atone for the anger that carried in his voice
made me want to drink and not stop drinking
to drown in the hazy sun
melt into the earth, as if I did not need a job, as if I were invisible

If only...

I drop my 11 yr old son off at the birthday party
In Manning Park,
in California where fall is green
I walk back through
I had been here with you, eight years ago…
Lush grass growing, green pine trees dappled with light and children’s laughter
I see a couple wandering through lush undergrowth
I wonder if it is beautiful for her
beautiful as when I wandered through it with you…
It seemed so, they way they held hands
the way they leaned and pulled into and away from each other
I walked back through the park
I wandered through trees you had once planted
I tried to remember
You pointing and which trees you pointed at
Tried to remember to see how tall they had grown
I couldn’t remember
I could only see your finger pointing, all blurry like
not which tree you pointed to…
I remembered
I remember
bringing you lunch
how happy I was to bring you lunch
because I couldn’t wait for you to get home
how all the worker men smiled at me
how you wrapped your arms around me
I remember how happy you were here
I wondered if you had gotten a job here
If things would have turned out different
Better
Better than separated?

An affair with a dragon

I saw his words come out of his mouth
Like a dragon
I saw the flames licking at the bed
It was late, I had not gotten up and he was angry
tired of the games
If he could finish quicker…
My words cut into the heart of the matter
“What is your point?” I asked coldly

“My point is…” he continues, angrier
The words flamed red and burned
Seared your skin with nothing left
Reminder, I am a guest in this house
My words fluttered high in anger
Reverberating his pitch
Reminder, I am a guest
I have to bow even in my anger
The heat licked up my tears
Leaving none

I wondered in the aftermath
Inside this elegant house
Warm oriental furniture
A dragon sleeps
I never know when it will wake up
Where the line crosses
But I am in love with him